TMNT Fiction
by niko56
Summary: Raph and Casey ditch the others to watch a movie, but thanks to eating week old pizza, they begin to have a lucid dream that takes everyone they know into the world of Pulp Fiction where everyone plays a character in one of the most iconic movies ever made! What madness is to become of this? Will there be a Royale with Cheese? And How will I make it so its rated T? Stay tuned!
1. Cast and Characters

**Disclaimer: TMNT is owned by Viacom, Pulp Fiction is owned by Miramax...sadly, I own none of that. **

**A/N: I can't believe I never thought to do this before, but by God I'm-a doing it now. I have decided to combine the goodness that is the 2012 TMNT franchise with one of the greatest movies ever put on the big screen: Quentin Tarantino's "Pulp Fiction". Yes, that's right folks, all of your favorite characters will take on the iconic roles of one of the best movies in the world. So do enjoy and all that jazz!**

**Synopsis: Raph and Casey ditch the others to watch a movie, but thanks to eating week old pizza, they begin to have a lucid dream that takes everyone they know into the world of Pulp Fiction. What madness is to become of this? Will there be a Royale with Cheese? And How will I make it so its rated T? Stay tuned!**

**Rated T: violence, language, violence, blood, violence, Raphael, violence, Casey Jones, Violence!**

**So for those of you rusty on your Pulp Fiction knowledge, I suggest y'all catchup! It'll come in handy! Read, review, and enjoy!**

"**TMNT Fiction"**

* * *

**Cast and Characters**

**Leonardo..._Jules Winfield: _**He is the second lead character and known for being up front with his enemies, and not to mention being very biblical and philosophical. He can diffuse a situation as much as he can start one. He is attempting to obtain a briefcase and return it to Marcellus Wallace at all costs. He decides to give up being a gangster after a moment of divine intervention and vows to retire for good.

**Donatello..._Pumpkin/Ringo: _**The man who with the help of his girlfriend Honey-Bunny make an impromptu robbery at the restaurant the same time Jules and Vincent are eating. He is very good at what he does, though headstrong, but makes all the necessary precautions ahead of time before acting.

**Raphael..._Butch Coolidge: _**An aging prizefighting boxer who is bribed by crime boss Marcellus Wallace to back down in the midst of an impending fight, where in return he wins the fight and has to leave town very quickly lest he be hunted down by Wallace's goons. Later trying to track down an irreplaceable gold watch left behind by his girlfriend.

**Michelangelo..._Lance: _**A drug dealer (Or in this case "pizza dealer") that is good friend's with Vincent Vega, and who also assists in the revival of Mia Wallace after she overdoses at her house. Though hesitant, Lance is helpful to Vincent.

**April O'Neil..._Honey-Bunny/Yolanda: _**The girl who helps her boyfriend Pumpkin rob the restaurant that Jules and Vincent are eating at the same time. She is a little headstrong, but always eager, and has a very nervous trigger finger, caring for her boyfriend very much.

**Splinter..._Winston Wolfe: _**A 'cleaner' under the employ of Marcellus Wallace who helps and takes charge of the clean-up of the deceased Marvin at Jimmy's house, thanks to a careless Vincent and Jules. The Wolf is a no nonsense genius at what he does and has no trouble taking charge of any task at hand, and does not like any backtalk.

**Casey Jones..._Vincent Vega: _**The lead character who is a gangster for Marcellus Wallace where he and his partner Jules must obtain a briefcase under any circumstance. He has recently returned from Europe and was asked by Marcellus to take his wife Mia out to Dinner while he is out of town. He even helps revive her after she overdoses.

**Shredder..._Marcellus Wallace: _**A gangster who demands a briefcase be given back to him, meanwhile he bribes Butch Coolidge to take a fall in an upcoming prize fight after bribing him, later demanding Butch be found after he betrays him. The latter two end up saving each others lives at the hands of Maynard and Zed.

**Karai..._Mia Wallace: _**Marcellus's wife (or daughter in this case) who goes on a date with Vincent Vega at the request of her husband (father). She is very cool under the collar and has a very laid back personality. She is a drug addict (pizza addict) and winds up overdosing and needing Vincent and Lance to revive her.

**Jack Kurtzman..._Capt. Koons: _**A former friend of Butch's deceased father, who gives young Butch a gold watch passed down through the men in his family for generations, a watch that has seen some very unfavorable places to keep it safe from enemies.

**Irma..._Fabienne: _**Butch's ditzy girlfriend, who accidentally forgot to pack his gold watch when they were packing, causing Butch to go look for it. She enjoys blueberry pancakes and finds pot-bellies on men attractive.

**Rahzar..._Maynard: _**A pawn shop owner who kidnaps a disoriented Butch and Marcellus after they begin to brawl in his shop. He works together with his partner Zed.

**Xever..._Zed: _**The pawnshop's security guard who has an extremely sadistic personality, he assists in kidnapping Butch and Marcellus (THAT scene will be kept PG)

**Baxter Stockman..._Marvin: _**an informant for Marcellus Wallace who is accidentally killed by Vincent Vega, requiring the help of the Wolf to dispose of the body. (Fun Fact: Phil LaMarr, who voices Baxter Stockman, actually played the real Marvin in Pulp Fiction)

**Spider Bytes_...The Guy With The Gun Who Misses Every Shot: _**a guy who tries to fruitlessly eliminate Jules and Vincent with a pistol, causing Jules to go through his decision to retire from being a gangster.

**Pete..._Brett: _**the one man eating a burger who Jules and Vincent eliminate while trying tor etrieve the briefcase for Marcellus.

**Foot Ninja..._Flock of Seagulls Guy: _**the the other guy that has Marcellus Wallace's briefcase, whom Jules and Vincent are sent to eliminate.

**Niko56..._Jimmy: _**a friend of Jules, he and Vincent with the help of the Wolf take care of the dead Marvin before Jimmy's wife returns home from work.

**Remember, this will be as T as I can possibly get it, if you have any questions let me know. So get ready for the story, and as always...**

**BOOYAKASHA!**


	2. Prelude to it All

**Here be the prelude to the events that are to come, enjoy!**

… "**Prelude to it All" … **

Twas a seemingly ordinary Friday evening in the turtles underground sewer lair. Their nightly patrols completed, they all decided to settle down for the evening and catch a movie. Unfortunately to an unlucky two, it was April's turn to choose the movies for the evening, and what better way to ruin a movie night, than with _Frozen._

Leo, Mikey, April, and Donnie sat mesmerized with their eyes glued to the TV, like brainwashed sheep they marveled at the snappy animation, sub-par musical numbers, and wolf-in-sheep's-clothing plot containing one dimensional characters and a freaking talking snowman!

Needless to say, on the couch, Raph and Casey were having none of that. Each sat bored counting down the minutes until that pathetic excuse for a billion dollar grossing blockbuster ended. It was around the time when "Let It Go" began, the two vigilantes couldn't take another painful second.

"Okay, I'm not gonna sugar coat this." Raph sighed, throwing his head back on the couch, and then throwing it forward for emphasis "This has got to be, the absolute—WORST movie of all time! And remember we saw _Cop Out_!"

"This is so awful, it makes me want to just hit my head repeatedly with my hockey stick!" Casey complained, waving his stick around to make a point.

"I got next dibs." Raph demanded "Man I can't believe I'm saying this, but Space Heroes was better than this garbage!"

"Shh, quiet Raph, Elsa's singing Let It Go!" Donnie urged him.

"I'll let it go alright, my sai's right into the TV that is." Raph said twirling his sai's "Or at least into my eye sockets, which ever comes first."

"Just throw it at the TV already, put us all out of our misery." Casey begged, sliding off of the couch.

"I bet I could, these babies have never failed me before, I swear they're made of gold or something, they're so lucky!"

"Spoiler alert Raph, no one cares." April whispered

"Dude, Red just insulted you." Casey said

"I noticed." Raph sneered, getting more agitated by the second.

"Raph chillax man, enjoy the movie, it's like so totally awesome! I could watch it all night!" Mikey said shoveling yet another slice of popcorn pizza with extra butter into his mouth.

"Yeah stop hating you two, its the perfect movie. Two strong female leads, great villain, and excellent premise, two thumbs up." Leo added

"No, it stinks!" Raph gritted his teeth

"Besides, Raph and me wanna watch _Red Dawn_." Casey said holding up the DVD case.

"And that's better than _Frozen _how? He asked as if he cared." Leo asked

"Uh, a million times better!" Raph concluded "It's over an hour and a half of action packed action, with Josh Peck and Liam Hemsworth killing enemy soldiers with tons of action!"

"You said action three times in that sentence." Donnie noticed

"I was just making sure you four were paying attention." Raph explained

"Dude Josh Peck is the man! He lost like a ton of weight, and he's like the perfect fighting machine." Casey added

"I heard that, way better than this crud." Raph agreed

"Well tough toenails you two, its my turn for movies tonight, and I say its a Disney night." April said walking over to the stack of DVD's she had on the couch.

"You mean there's more to this punishment?" Raph sighed "I'd rather be tortured by Rahzar and Xever than this."

"You see, after _Frozen _I thought we'd watch: _Aladdin, _then_ The Little Mermaid, _then_ Pocahontas, Snow White, Cinderella, _and finish it all off with_ Beauty and the Beast." _she skimmed through her movies

Raph's left eye twitched a little.

"Dude, your eye just twitched." Casey noticed

"I'm painfully aware of that."

"Aw, no _Sleeping Beauty_?" A disappointed Mikey asked

"No, sorry Mikey, I can't remember where I put it." April explained

"Darn."

"How disappointing." Casey and Raph blurted sarcastically.

"Will you two just shut it and at least let us watch the movie in piece?" Donnie asked

"Yeah, what Donnie said." April added taking her place right next to him.

"Ugh." Raph shook his head and approached them. "It's not just the movie, its you guys, you're all driving me up a tree." Raph explained "Donnie, you and I both know you only like this movie cause April does!"

"I'll have you know I saw _Frozen _five times already, all without April."

"Yeah, leave him alone." April snapped.

"Oh give it up, lately you two seem more like a married couple than usual." Raph noticed.

"What? No we don't!" Donnie and April snapped at the same time.

"Point proven." Casey sighed laying upside down on the couch.

"Cut it out guys." Mikey sighed, eating another slice of pizza.

"Then there's Mikey, who is hopelessly addicted to pizza!"

"No I'm not." Mikey whimpered mouth full "I can stop anytime I want to."

"Ease up on him Raph, pizza helps Mikey focus and calm him down-"

"And then there's Leo!" Raph continued "With the philosophical blah-da-ba-blah." he mocked. "Driving. Me. Crazy."

"Raphael!" came Splinter's blaring voice.

The wise old sensei emerged from the dojo and approached the living room, making his way towards the kitchen. "It is April's turn for movies tonight, if you and Casey wish to watch your movie, perhaps you two should find a change in venue?" he suggested.

"See, Sensei's on the ball." Leo agreed.

"Suck-up." Casey sneered under his breath.

"Sorry Sensei, he do you want me and Casey help you with whatever it is your doing? Anything would be better than this movie."

"No-no, I just need to clean a stain in the dojo, I can get it myself, though time is always a factor, you do not want to get stain's set in." he explained

"Right." Raph nodded.

"He's right Raph, we can go see _Red Dawn _at my place." Casey stood. "A place that's totally Disney free!"

The four just waved at them, not even looking their way, eyes glued to the TV. Raph sighed and approached them again, grabbing a box of pizza from on top of the TV.

"And were taking this with us!" Raph grabbed the box and the two headed for the exit.

"Hey! My pizza!" Mikey complained

"No pizza for you!" Raph screamed

"You come back in one year!" Casey followed suit. "Heh-heh, we just Soup-Nazi'ed them."

"Yeah we did."

"Raph, that pizza was the one we didn't eat from last week, it's probably totally stale." Leo warned

"Don't care!" Raph called, barely in ear shot at this point.

"Ugh, whatever." Leo shook his head.

Raph and Casey carried the pizza and the movie like their lives depended on it, and made their way to Casey's house not to far from the lair. The two ducked into Casry's completely messy excuse for a room, and got the movie set up in Casey's obsolete and totally outdated TV and DVD player.

"Welcome to Casa Del Jones Raph, make yourself at home."

"Don't mind if I do." he set the pizza to the side and sat on the bed.

Raph scanned Casey's messy room that was filled with posters of the New York Rangers, action movies, the Jets, and on the back of his door, a long centerfold poster of a bikini model. Aside from that, were some hockey equipment, dirty clothing, a signed Jets football helmet with Joe Nameth's signature, and Casey's age-old TV among the mess.

"Now this is a man's room." Raph concluded

"Yeah, damn right!" Casey nodded slapping the TV to get it to work "This stupid TV is so annoying, it better work."

"Forget about it Jones, anything is better than that _Frozen_ crud." Raph said laying back on Casey's bed. "Hell I'd rather stare at the ceiling."

Suddenly, the TV started to smoke, and the DVD wouldn't eject when Casey tried to. He shook it violently, but of course to no avail.

"Aw come on!" he complained "Erg! It ate my DVD! Dammit, now I can't see Josh Peck kick butt!" Casey sighed, then yelled to his dad downstairs. Yo Dad! TV's on the fritz again! I think its a goner this time!"

"I know! Same down here! I'm picking up two from work tomorrow! Sorry Case!" His dad called

"Crud." Casey sat on the bed next to Raph. "Man now what are we supposed to do?"

Raph sat up on the bed. "Well there's gotta be somewhere else we can watch a movie."

"How, it destroyed my DVD?"

"I meant another movie, ya gotta have more right?" Raph asked

"Yeah, plenty. Still, where though?"

"I'm thinking, I'm thinking, keep your gloves on." Raph laid back on the bed again. "Hmm...who do we know who has a TV, and wouldn't mind my being there and can keep their mouth shut about it?"

"It's a short list bro. All I really know that isn't already in the lair is April's friend Irma and shes got a very big mouth."

"Oh yeah, from the last time with the Rat King." Raph remembered

"Dude, she's so annoying, I wouldn't wish her on my worst enemy, and best of luck to whomever marries her!"

"Yeah, I'd believe that when I see it." Raph chuckled. He continued to think.

"Don't hate me, but you know who is really cute though?" Casey asked

"Who?" Raph asked still thinking.

"Karai-or Miwa or whatever."

"Stay away from her Jones, I mean it, she'll get you into trouble, that's a fact."

"I know-I know...still cute though."

"Sure-sure." Raph kept thinking still "And besides I thought you and April were a thing?"

"Nah-well maybe, I dunno, her and Donnie just connect so well—you said it yourself its like they're married."

"I know, so annoying—wait a sec, that's it!" Raph had a brainstorm. He sat up on the bed.

"Dude, what's it?"

"It's been in front of our faces the whole time, April! She has a TV and obviously not using it, we can watch a movie at her place."

"Yeah, good thinking Raph, and she has a nice TV." Casey agreed "Plus I remember her saying her aunt is out of town for the weekend so we'll have the place to ourselves."

"Now all we need is a movie...a good movie."

"Not a problem." Casey went over to his movie shelf. "Let's see..._Clerks_-no, _The Departed_-nah, _Inglorious Basterds_, not really in a Christoph Waltz mood, _The Dark Knight_, _Goldeneye, _Pulp Fi—DUDE." then Casey finally came to a winner.

"What?"

"I forgot I had this, the greatest movie in the history of movies, _Pulp Fiction_!" Casey showed off the DVD case.

"Oh yeah its a Tarantino movie. What's it about?" Raph asked

"What isn't it about is the better question. It's got violence, snappy dialogue, good music, fast cars, and guy named The Wolf." Casey explained

"Sold, anything's gotta be better than _Frozen._"

"Let's hit it then."

The two gathered the movie, and the pizza, and headed over to April's place, where of course, her second story window was unlocked, the two tiptoed into April's girly room. Raph immediately jumped onto the bed, and Casey set up the DVD on April's nice TV. He then sat at her desk.

"The genius left her tessen here." Raph said studying April's ninja weapon. "Splinter would be so ticked."

"Don't worry about it, toss me a slice of pizza!"

"Coming atcha!" Raph threw Casey a really stale piece, taking a bite of one himself.

"Hmm, not that stale, it's actually pretty good."

"Yeah once you get passed the funky aftertaste its not half bad." Raph shrugged

The two continued to chug away at the stale pizza with really funky toppings, each having two more slices each.

A few more bites in and a few more moments the two started to act weird. Both starting to see spots. If Raph wasn't laying down he would have fallen down. Casey nearly fell asleep in the chair, and he became woozy as well, nearly falling off.

"Yo Raph?"

"Ugh, maybe this pizza wasn't such a good-[_burp_]-idea."

"Oh, so sick. Gotta...toilet...ugh." Casey fell out of the chair and hit the floor.

"Jones...you okay...Casey...ugh." Raph turned his head and fell asleep as well.

**And so our story begins in the middle...of the movie...as it begins...next chapter...you know what I mean! Read review, and get ready for more!**

**BOOYAKASHA!**


	3. Donnie and April-Bunny Part: I

**Just wanted everyone to bare in mind that some of the movie dialogue and locations have been altered to both be more original and more akin to the TMNT universe...**

**. . .**

**Donnie and April-Bunny (Part: I)...**

. . .

In a small diner located in the Russian neighborhood of Brighten Beach near the now defunct Coney Island, sits many distinguished scientists as they are enjoying a breakfast post their big science expo not too far away.

Also residing in the Doo-Wop-y style diner sits two shady characters at a booth enjoying their breakfast, while trying to ignore the scientists enjoying there's. Aside from the fact that they were two nobody's in a room filled with white coats and lab shoes, the two were more out of place than one can perceive.

The two sit opposite one another at their booth. One boy one girl. Of course I referring to Donnie and April. The half-mutant kunoichi in training sported her usual tom-boy look, yet looking more skater punk than her usual. Donnie on the other hand simply wore a blue Hawaiian shirt, and sat informally at the booth.

"No forget it, I'm done, it's too risky." Donnie insisted, putting his foot down.

"Typical." April rolled her eyes and took a sip of her coffee.

"What do you mean typical there hun-bun? I mean it this time, I. Am. Done."

"And I'm saying typical Donnie. You say the same thing all the time." April rolled her eyes, then mocking her accomplice "You know: never again, I'm done, were getting out of it this time, same thing different day, get some new material will ya?"

"Yes except this time it's for real, ya get me?" Donnie asked

"Yeah I getcha."

"Good. And I know-I know April I say it all the time but I mean it—"

"And then you forget in a day or two." April reminded him.

"Yeah the days of me forgetting are over and the days of us forgetting and me remembering have just begun my dear."

"You know when you're like this—all tough, Mr. tough turtle, Captain-big-britches, major big dick—you know what you sound like?" April smugly asked

"No, honey, what do I sound like?" Donnie asked, getting annoyed "Huh?"

"You sound like a frickin' duck." April smirked

"Piss off! I'm a turtle, that's like calling an African-American a n*gger." Donnie defended.

"Quack-quack-quack-quack." April continued mocking her turtle boyfriend.

"Laugh it up you smug ginger bitch." Donnie smiled sarcastically.

"Oh, that's the nicest thing you ever said to me honey." April added continuing the sarcasm.

"Listen April in all fairness if I sound like anyone, I sound like a sensible frickin' turtle is what I sound like cause I mean what I'm saying, were done. End of story." Donnie continued. "So take it to heart deary, cause cause you're never gonna have to hear it again. Because I'm never gonna do it again, you're never gonna have to hear me "quack" about how were never gonna do it again, got it?" Donnie asked

"Sure-sure." April rolled her eyes. "After tonight you mean?" she smirked The two share in a laugh.

"Yes, I got all tonight to quack." Donnie laughed. A waitress then waltzed over to their booth with a pitcher half full with coffee from previously serving another table. Using her best to try and swing some extra tip money she filled April's now empty coffee cup to gain some extra sympathy points.

"Can I get the lovely couple here some more coffee?" she asked sweetly.

"That would be lovely thank you." April smiled. "And you sir?" the waitress sweetly asked Donnie.

"I'm good thanks."

"Well, holler if you need me." The waitress nodded, then left.

"Will do!" April called, then turning back to Donnie. "She sounds nice."

"Sure." Donnie rolled his eyes, nearly finishing his coffee "Just your average grade A tip whore."

"Come on, be nice." April asked

"I'll be nice when you and I are both filthy rich with our own retro-mutagen." Donnie sighed.

"It'll happen my lovely, we will have our own retro-mutagen and we will be rich beyond our wildest dreams, this I promise you." April assured him.

"Promise?" Donnie asked

"Of course." April leaned forward to kiss him, causing Donnie to blush.

"Feel better?" she asked "Hmm, kisses make Pumpkin feel nice." he slurred. "That's a yes." April chuckled.

"Seriously though April, think about it...I mean the way it is now, you're taking the same frickin' risk as when you rob a bank. You take more of a risk. Banks are easier! Federal banks aren't supposed to stop you anyway, during a robbery. They're insured, why should they care? You don't even need a gun in a federal bank. I heard about this guy, walked into a federal bank with a portable phone, handed the phone to the teller, the guy on the other end of the phone said: "We got this guy's little girl, and if you don't give him all your money, we're gonna kill her."And that my sweet as they say, is that." Donnie continued.

"Well, did it work?" an intrigued April asked

"Hecks yeah it worked." Donnie nodded. "That's what I'm talking about! Knucklehead walks in a bank with a telephone, not a pistol, not a shotgun, but a freakin' phone, cleans the place out, and they don't lift a freakin' finger. It's foolproof if I do say so myself...and I do."

"But Donnie I get that, they got robbed, robber got rich, woo-hoo, smart guy won for once, but did they hurt the little girl?" April asked

"Hell if I know, in fact I doubt there was even a little girl-or boy-or mutant or whatever the hell to begin with, point it it worked and that genius made out with a butt-load of money, and I know for a fact that I'm two times the genius as that mother-lover." Donnie explained. "If he can rob a bank with nothing more than a cellphone than two criminal genius-Bonnie-and-Clyde movers and shakers like us can do it tenfold with ninja weapons, and that my dear April, is my point."

"So what then, you wanna rob banks?" April asked still a little confused from Donnie's ranting.

"I'm not saying I wanna rob banks sweetness I'm just saying that robbing a bank is a helluva lot easier than the crap we're pulling right now." Donnie said. "At least from what I've picked up."

"Donnie—pumpkin, stop beating around the bush with your Tim Roth crap and be frank with me. Do. You. Wanna. Rob. Banks?" April asked being as sincere as she could.

"No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no." Donnie shook his head doing a slight face palm from the confusion. "This isn't _Point Break_, this isn't _The Town_, this isn't _Heat; _I'm no Ben Affleck, and By Darwin's beard you're not Lori Petty." Donnie sighed "This isn't the movies babe, all those so-called "geniuses" who rob banks are either taking a nice dirt nap while rehearsing their oh-please-let-me-in speech to Saint Peter or doing five to twenty at Leavenworth if you know what I mean." Donnie explained.

"I feel ya babe." April agreed.

"Thanks, look, we want retro-mutagen, its a huuuuuge money maker, and incredibly subsidized by the government, that means you need a damn good reason to get your hands on it and not to mention a lot of money, something a lot of suckers in this world ain't got." Donnie added.

"You're preaching to the choir darling." April nodded.

"Banks, liquor stores, 7-11's, the whole nine, they are our ticket to black market retro-mutagen-ville, and once we hit that, we my dear will be pigs in the most high quality sh*t. However you know as well as I do, I enjoy living, as do you, and so help me I don't want to spend the rest of my miserable days in a federal clink, especially away from the girl of my thieving dreams." Donnie added rubbing April's cheek, she blushed.

"Aw, baby." she cooed.

"Besides, true, banks are insured, but thanks to liberals, libertarians, and basically anyone who hates the police, the cops are itching to knock the metaphorical piss out of anyone without being slandered in a police brutality rap, and unfortunately an armed robbery is exactly the kind of Jones police need to express their right to be as brutal as the law allows without the political and social backlash." Donnie continued taking the final sip of his coffee. "And the last thing I want is to look like street pizza on my first day in federal prison because if that happens-"Donnie concluded hoping April would finish his thought so they'd be on the same page.

"It means no prisoner will ever take you seriously, or worse, you'd be someone's bitch."

"Precisely, and I'd never be able to sleep at night knowing my April-Bunny was some bull dyke's chew toy, God knows I'd never forgive myself."

"Well thanks for your concern pumpkin." April nodded "The feeling is mutual I assure you." she took another sip of her coffee. "So what then, at least no more liquor stores?" she asked

"What have we been talking about? Yeah, no-more-liquor-stores. Besides, it ain't the giggle it used to be besides the police risk mind you. Too many foreigners own liquor stores. Vietnamese, Koreans, they can't freakin' speak English, or hardly any besides 'You twenty-one there boy?'. You tell 'em: "Empty out the register," and they don't know what it freakin' means. They make it too personal, it's like they're pride thing in their homeland. We keep on, one of those mother-lovers' gonna make us kill 'em. I don't wanna do that." Donnie explained.

"I'm with you I don't wanna kill anyone either, even if they do tick me off to no end."

"And that's what I'm saying. But they'll probably put us in a situation where it's us of them. And if it's not the Asians, it these old Jews who've owned the store for fifteen freakin' generations. Ya got Grandpa Irving—or Isaac or whatever the frick—sitting' behind the counter with a freakin' Magnum. Try walking into one of those stores with nothing' but a telephone, see how far it gets you. To hell with it it, forget it, we're out of it. The last thing I need is a .357 slug in my chest because some Jew on a hunch knew how to aim at point blank and blew my green ass away. We're done! End of story." Donnie insisted.

"Cool beans there schnookums, so what then? Get desk jobs?" April asked skeptically.

"Not in this life."

"Well what then? We need money for retro-mutagen to make the bigger money, how do you suppose we do that by lamenting over close calls, successes and risks of others huh? What are we filmmakers all of the sudden?" she asked

"Hang on." Donnie then called for the waitress "Garcon! Coffee!" he ordered, then he turned back to April. "Hence why my dear sweet April that I decided to bring you to this quaint little diner." he smirked. "This place." April raises an eyebrow as the waitress with a slight chip on her shoulder fills Donnie's coffee mug.

"Garcon means boy." she corrected, then walking away.

"Ya still filled my cup didn't ya? Moron." Donnie whispered taking a sip of his warm filled cup.

"Donnie...here? It's just a coffee shop? Hardly Fort Knox."

"Yes but if you'd get yer head out of yer sexy little tushie for about five frickin' seconds you'd notice we've come here on the mother-load of all days. Hell Goldfinger would have wished he'd rob this place in lieu of Fort Knox...if Goldfinger were looking for mutagen that is." Donnie shrugged. "Besides screw the whole scientist factor, think about it for a sec..." he got closer to April whispering. "People never rob restaurants, why not? Bars, liquor stores, gas stations, you get your head blown off sticking' up one of them. Why? Because for whatever sociological reason the hardest mother-lovers tend to those places cause their expecting the hardest people to be their patrons. They're always expecting to get robbed even when they never do. They're like trigger-happy boy scouts, always prepared. Restaurants, on the other hand, you catch with their pants down. They're not expecting to get robbed, or not as expecting, cause unlike bars which run the gambit from drunks, addicts, crooks, and murders, or gas stations where all walks of life show up—and same deal with liquor stores, if you need to buy yourself a drink or twenty something's clearly wrong with you...restaurants...just your average everyday middle class Joe trying to enjoy his short stack of pancakes with a side of turkey bacon...totally unaware of the two smartest criminals in the world are ready to take your wallet...and your mutagen." Donnie shrugged as April smirked wickedly.

"I likey Don-Don, I bet you'd even cut down on the hero factor especially subtracting the overzealous rush adrenaline you get from alcohol at a bar." April added

"That is Correct my dear April. See, its elementary...Just like banks, these places are insured. The managers don't give a fudge, they're just trying' to get ya out the door before you start plugging' diners. Waitresses, forget it, they ain't taking' a bullet for the register. Busboys, some wetback getting' paid a dollar fifty a hour gonna really give a flying-fudge wiener you're stealing' from the owner? Customers are sitting' there with food in their mouths, they don't know what's going' on. One minute they're having' a Denver omelet, with some legal pizza on the side, next minute somebody's sticking' a shuriken in their face. And unless you're in a restaurant that conveniently is having an on-duty breakfast for cops—in which case you'd have to be two-thirds retard to hold it up, you're in the clear baby. And it just so happens..." Donnie added

"Were in restaurant with no cups, and a butt-load of scientists."April smiled.

"Precisely my sweet, precisely. See April, I got the idea from the last liquor store we held up two nights ago. Remember all those idiotic customers kept coming in?"

"I sure do." April nodded

"Then you got the brilliant idea to take their wallets why I tried to give a crash course on the English language to the Asian clerk working the counter, crying his eyes out and ruining his pants." Donnie and April shared a laugh.

"Seriously?" April asked

"From both ends. Swear to God I could smell it! Aw man, there isn't enough Tide in the world to fix those undies." Donnie chuckled. "Regardless that was an ingenious idea, couldn't have done it better myself."

"Thank you."

"In fact, we made more from the wallets than we did from the register." Donnie added

"Really?"

"Oh frick' yeah, tenfold!"

"And hey Don...lot of people go to restaurants." April nodded coming around more to the idea. "Lot of wallets."

"Pretty smart huh?" Donnie asked pointing to his head for emphasis.

"Totally."

April then mulled the idea for another moment longer. Then while Donnie took a few more sips of his coffee and finished his legal pizza omelet April gave a chuckle before taking her tessen from her back pocket. She opened it, and slammed it on the table.

"Ya know what, screw it, I'm ready! Let's do this!"

"For real?"Donnie asked

"Yeah, right here, right now." April nodded

"Same deal as last time?" Donnie asked "I handle employees, you're crowd control."

"Sounds good." April smiled. "I love you Donnie." she cooed.

"I love you too April-Bunny." the two embraced in a sloppy kiss. Then Donnie broke out his bo staff, activated the blade and jumped up onto the table. "Everyone one of you nerds be cool this is a robbery!" he shouted.

"So help me if any of you pencil pushers move! I'll slice the throats of every last mother-loving one of ya!" April shouted, tessen in hand.

**'TMNT FICTION!'** **Alright, and there is where we leave off for now. Coming up next is where the film would actually begin if it were in fact in chronological order. We introduce Leo and Casey! So I hope you leave a review! Brush up on your Pulp Fiction know-how and get ready for more!** **BOOYAKASHA!**


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